Butterflies (are Free to Fly)*

A week or so ago I was trompling through the forest with trusty T-Dog.

Not feeling great about things.
Too far into my head.
Ignoring everything around me.
Staring at the ground.

Then I felt a fluttering. 🦋 Felt it more than I saw it.  Soft air very close to my face.
It drew my eyes upward, as if my head was being given a gentle tug on a thread.

The monarch was oh so near. It settled on a branch. And waited. Patiently. While I brought out my phone. To take a photo. And then moved closer to it. To take more photos. It waited. Patiently.🦋

I ascribed all sorts of portent to it. To me, it was Mom saying 'Everything's all right. I'm gone but I'm not. You can still find me when you need me."

Melodramatic, fersure.

Yet I took the photos.🦋 Posted one to Instagram and thought to myself "That was nice. I needed that."

I figured that was the end of it.

Four days later, I was attending the girl's university graduation in Kelowna. Definitely some emotion and anxiety, as I tried to make sure we were all there, dressed and ready, and on time for the early morning event (not least because the husband had fallen very ill and couldn't make it to the ceremony with us.) More anxiety as I realized I wouldn't get the perfect 'aisle' photo that I'd planned. Even more anxiety as we tried to get all the right pictures with all the necessary groups of people afterwards.

I was a stress-ball as we walked back to the car from the event. Too many people. Too much uncertainty. Just too much.

But then I saw her. 🦋 As we reached the parking lot.
The monarch. Telling me it was all ok.
Honestly, I almost cried. And thought to myself "That was nice. I needed that."

If it had ended there, I probably wouldn't be writing this post. But I'm writing this post (hint hint.)

Two days after that, we were attending the boy's high school graduation.  It started with a lovely garden party in the backyard of a friend's house before we went downtown for the grad dinner. Probably 50 kids and their parents in attendance at the house. We knew some of them, met some others and didn't know the rest. Lots of people.

Gorgeous location. Especially as the sun broke through and lit up the yard. Smiling. Laughing. Exuberance. Youth.

And even there, I saw her. As I watched my son joking with friends.
The monarch. 🦋 Directly overhead. Soft air very close to my face.

Telling me that it was all good.
The kids are moving forward. 🦋
🦋 Things are changing.
Which is something to treasure, not regret.




*Swiped the title from Elton John's 'Someone Saved My Life Tonight' (which I am old enough to remember)