Sometimes I Just Think

(Warning:  This is a long read, about more serious stuff.  Tried to throw in a few forest photos for a bit of visual interest, but there's not a single dog in it.)

This blog (erratic as it is) is meant to be about a journey. About movement, internal or external. Ultimately with some progress, conclusion, even an occasional epiphany (for me anyways).

And I’d say that I've been fortunate because, in writing it, it has propelled me forward and changed some of my perspectives, all for the better.

But there are some issues that seem intractable.  Incapable of progress.  Leading to thoughts that pile up and swirl around in my head, jumping, jostling, pushing one another, sometimes even smacking each other down.  But to no conclusion at all.

The dialogue around the F-word (Feminism) and women’s place in the world is the intractable issue that most often leads to these thoughts. 

I think.

And I think.

And I think some more.

I get periodically encouraged by what I see, such as Sheryl Sandberg’s #LeanIn or Emma Watson’s #HeForShe.

And I think: Great, this will get some traction. There will be progress.

But then the inevitable backlash comes. Some of it polite. Some of it less so. Some of it threatening. And the ‘important’ numbers (about women on pay scales, in executive positions, on boards) never seem to change much.

The most recent prompt for my thinking was a tweet (by a woman) about women being competitive with each other in business, not supportive at all. The realm was the tech sector but it’s been said about every other business sector. It even has a name: “Queen Bee Syndrome”.

So I thought about that for a while. I do think there’s some truth in it. I've certainly seen it and experienced it. It’s even possible that I've been guilty of it.

So why does it happen?

The answer that kept elbowing and clambering its way to the top of my thought pile was that the competitive scenarios – the standard business scenarios – are the ones where there are very few women. So there are very few ‘spots’ available. (God forbid that women could have all of the spots, or even a proportionate share of them.) If we happen to be in one of those spots, we are ever mindful that another woman can take our spot.  Not any spot. Our spot. One of the women’s spots.

So why do I think this answer might have some truth to it?

Because I've had the better fortune in the last couple of years to operate in different, non-standard business scenarios, in situations where (by accident or design) I am largely surrounded by other women. Some of whom are, in fact, business competitors of mine.

And I've found these to be very supportive environments. We offer advice, time, tools, whatever is needed. Everyone gets credit where credit is due. And even if we have ‘moments’ where we disagree or have some conflict, we seem to recognize that those moments of business discord can be separated and isolated from our usual personal accord.  The former is fleeting, the latter is invigorating.

I guess, fundamentally, we’re making our own spots. And our own business scenarios in which there are no limits on the number of the spots we can have.

Fair to say that these might be considered pretty small enterprises. Flying below the radar of ‘business.’ (I don’t really see a Vancouver Board of Trade honorary breakfast or a trending #VBOT hashtag in our near future.)

But the cool thing is, these enterprises connect with people. Real people. Not shareholders or directors or stakeholders (if I never ever have to use the word ‘stakeholders’ again, I will die a happy woman). Real people.

We do our bit for real people. We hang out with real people. We create an environment of like-minded real people (women and men) in which we can grow and keep doing our bit for more and more real people.

So when I get caught up in the frustrations and the backlashes and the sheer lack of visible progress regarding women’s place in the world, when I get way inside my head and…

I think,

And I think,

And I think some more,

I eventually remember that we do have the power and the opportunity to change those business paradigms. We may have to start small, but we can build a model of success where women can have all the spots we might want, where we can create a vision, where we can have a voice and, importantly, where we flourish in a supportive community.

Don’t get me wrong: this ain't no “The meek shall inherit the Earth” kind of play. We won’t be meek.

Actual sisters...

No ma’am (Wouldn't you know it, I started typing ‘No sir’… Changing the paradigm one word at a time!)

We’ll kick ass. We’ll be awesome. We’ll be f*%!g spectacular. We just won’t do it on the backs of our sisters.  

Instead, we’ll do it arm-in-arm with anyone who wants to join us on the journey forward.  All like-minded real people are welcome.

So I started out with swirling thoughts and discontentment, and ended with a feeling of forward movement.

That’s a good day.