Better Living Through Chemicals

I promised reformation and rejuvenation... 

My first impulse was to purchase products to get the job done. 
Better Living Through Chemicals and all that.  (Really, what are a few rats in the grand scheme of things?)

I found there was an enormous volume of facial spackle to choose from.  With such evocative names as:  "Revitalift", "Youth Code", "Hydra-Fresh", "Age Perfect" (ok, that one's a big marketing mistake - I am never, ever going to buy a product with the word 'Age' in it.) 

All these from just one beauty manufacturer, BTW.

Yet the choices don't end there.  You get to: 

• Pick your substance - creams, lotions, serums, infused pads. 
• Pick  your application method - fingertips, sponge, roller, a trowel.
• Pick your price point - start at 'expensive' and go up from there.

So did I succumb and try some of these marvelous things? OF COURSE I DID!  I was sure there could be magic in a bottle / tube / jar / pump.  I just had to find the right one.

I tell you, it's been a harrowing ride.  I've made egregious mistakes. Shameful mistakes.  I've used deep repair night cream in the morning, put double-lifting eye cream on my upper lip, and dribbled wrinkle-reducing serum in my ear (I thought it would help with some waxy build-up).  Much money has been spent, many days have passed, and I still don't know how to equalize my complexion or illuminate my dark spots (OMG - am I supposed to be concealing these?!?)

And what were the results, you ask? 
Here's the before shot:
 

And the after:

(You can tell that I'm pleased with the results, because I'm smiling.)
  



 

Seriously, though, reclaiming youth is kind of like finding the Golden Ticket in a candy bar.  Most of the 'winners' don't.

The only one who really wins is the one who stays true to him/herself, who is humble and appreciative and is able rise above the shallowness and greed all around.  (Oh, and who finds a way to love the weird horizontal lines that radiate from his/her eyes.  Speaking metaphorically, of course....)


So if you call me Charlie the next time you see me, I will smile and proudly say 'Hey!' 

(If that's too obscure a reference, think Gene Wilder or Johnny Depp.  And if you're still mystified, try this link: http://www.roalddahl.com/ )