Cussing and Cursing

I was driving home from my office the other night and realized I had (yet again) forgotten my lunch bag at work. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. It wasn't lost. It would be there in the morning. Right where I left it. 

But it still caused me to immediately drop an F-bomb in the confines of my car. Because "F*ck Me!" seemed the only appropriate thing to say (loudly and with tremendous feeling) at that moment.

Which is not all that unusual.

The difference this time is that I then immediately thought: "Hmmmm. That was really satisfying. I mean, reaaaaalllly satisfying."

Leading to a flash of insight - sometimes I just really like to curse! It makes me happy. It makes me whole.  It makes me feel real. 

So I was pretty stoked when I saw this article (and this one)

Turns out that cursing is NOT a sign of a redneck upbringing. Nor of a stunted vocabulary.  Quite the contrary...

It is, in fact, a sign of intelligence... of a 'healthy verbal ability' (not sure if that relates to being able to use the word 'f#ck' as an adjective, adverb, noun and verb, or whether it's deeper than that. Why don't you read the study and let me know?)

So here's a favourite cussing-related story: 

Many years ago, I had a really great boss and a pretty fabulous group of peers. We were all together at an off-site meeting in NY state, having dinner at a swish American country club (back when the company had money for those sorts of things).  

A couple of our gang were pretty good at getting their point across without any cursing at all (not yours truly, obviously) so they challenged those of us of the 'potty-mouth' persuasion to try to hold our tongue. We put a 'Curse Jar' on the table (proceeds to charity) and  had to throw in $1 every time we got caught swearing. A few bucks here, a few bucks there... but as the night wore on, and the wine flowed, more and more dollars were being plunked into the jar. My own USD cash supply was starting to run dangerously low. 

Finally, after our boss was called out yet one more time (which was somewhat surprising because he was a very respectful, old-school Pennsylvanian), he pulled out a hundred dollar bill, stuffed it in the jar and announced "F%ck it, I'm paying for everybody for the rest of the night!" 

And then we retired on to the patio with cigars and nightcaps. (Truth be told, we probably used up all of that $100 before the night was half done.)

So, yes, there are times when we need to be calm and professional and tempered. Times when we need to hold those outbursts deep inside.

But there are definitely other times when a well-placed expletive (said loudly and with tremendous feeling) is the best and only option. To give us satisfaction. And happiness. And inner peace (at least for yours truly.) 

Merry F^cking Christmas.
From our family to yours.

(Yeah!)

Deliberately and Relentlessly Positive

We've all seen stories about how Facebook may be ruining lives and feeding insecurities, because people feel inadequate when they compare themselves to the charmed selves and magical lives of their friends / acquaintances / celebrities on Facebook and other social media.

This got me to thinking... is this blog setting up a false picture of continuous happiness and light in my life?  Am I guilty of social media sanitizing?

Cold, cold peaks and  dark, foreboding skies.

I hope not.  Certainly it's not my intent. Because my life is far from being happiness and light every day.  There are:

• Hurdles, big and seemingly bigger 
• Emotions, torrid and occasionally desperate
• Slights, real and well, sometimes actually real... (sigh)

However, I will admit that I have tried to focus this blog, including my Facebook updates, on the positive parts of my life as much as possible.  Deliberately and relentlessly so. 

Why, you ask? (PS, thanks for asking)  

The personal reason is that I've been a cynical, glass-half-empty, expect-the-worst kind of gal for most of my life. TBH, turns out it's not a great mindset to have. So I've been deliberately and relentlessly working to change that. 

The broader reason is that negativity, adversity and vitriol push themselves into our faces every waking hour of every freaking day. And we have to find a way, every day, to deal with it. It can be very tiring.

My Forest Refuge 
(see, that's me on the chair)

...Sometimes it's just nice to have a refuge. 

So I love to read all the positive posts from my friends on Facebook. I love their pretty pictures. It makes me happy to see them find joy in the details of life. In puppies, kitties, horsies... even in humans (who knew?!) 

I never assume that their lives are perfect and that there is nothing but happiness and light in their days. And I don't think they're sanitizing their lives and overstating their successes to make others feel inadequate. I expect they / you / we all face similar challenges - the size and breadth of which doesn't really matter. Because it's not a contest. Hurdles are hurdles. 

If someone wants to share experiences about the hurdles (theirs or mine), I'd like to do that in a conversation, rather than a Facebook post. But feel free to post away, if that's how you want to communicate your hurdles (not judging here.)

As for the negativity and vitriol, occasionally you'll see that I get mad about something and might furiously Share or Comment on a post, and you'll know I REALLY, REALLY MEAN IT when I do.

But most of the time, I'll keep trying to pull light out of darkness and will sometimes post some pretty pictures. 

I'll be Deliberately and Relentlessly Positive.

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun...

How about you?